You have to negotiate in both your personal and your professional life. Negotiating is a process in which two or more parties in conflict attempt an agreement. If there is a set “take it or leave it” deal, such as retail prices, there is no negotiation. Also, not all negotiations end with an agreement. Negotiation is often a zero-sum game in which one party’s gain is the other party’s loss.

Not everyone is born a great negotiator, but the skill can be developed. Following the steps in the negotiation process can help you develop your negotiation skills. The negotiation process has three, possibly four, steps: plan, negotiate, possibly postpone, and finally come to an agreement or no agreement. Plan the Negotiation. Success or failure in negotiating is usually based on preparation.

When there doesn’t seem to be any progress, it may be wise to postpone negotiations. If the other party is postponing, you can try to create urgency. If you want to postpone, the other party may try to create urgency. If you are not satisfied with the deal or want to shop around, tell the other party you want to think about it. Once you have come to an agreement, put things in writing, if appropriate. It is common to follow up on an agreement with a letter/email of thanks that restates the agreement.

There will be times when you simply will be unable to come to an agreement or make a sale. Rejection, refusal, and failure happen to us all; in negotiating, you need to be thick skinned. If you cannot close a deal, analyze the situation and try to determine how you can improve in the future.