Persuasion takes careful preparation and proper presentation of arguments and supporting evidence in an appropriate and compelling way. Persuasion is not coercive power or manipulation. To help persuade people you don’t supervise, you can use influencing tactics that focus primarily on personal power. Before we discuss each of the five tactics, let’s discuss reading people and creating and presenting a win–win situation so you know which influencing tactic may work best in a given situation.

An argument presenting your view may sound good to you, but they may seem irrelevant to the other person. If you are going to influence someone, you have to understand the person’s values, attitudes, beliefs, and use incentives that will motivate that individual. Reading people is a key interpersonal skill and has four parts: Put yourself in the place of the person you want to persuade (your boss, coworker).

Anticipate how the person sees the world (perception) and what his or her expectations are during your persuasion interaction. Get the other person’s expectations right. If you don’t, you most likely will not influence the person. Incorporate the information about the other person’s expectations into your persuasive presentation. In other words, use the influencing tactic that will work best with the person. For example, if you know the person likes to be praised, use ingratiation. Keep the focus on the other person’s expectations when trying to persuade.

When you want someone to do something to help you, it is easy to focus just on yourself and your personal gain. But recall that the key to human relations success is to develop a win–win situation for all relevant parties. Spend time reading the other person, as suggested above, and answer the other person’s often unasked question, “What’s in it for me?”